I just gift wrapped bread.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize