i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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