He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize