Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize