He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
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mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
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I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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