No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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