At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize