Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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