no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
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