The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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