Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize