HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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