I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize