that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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