you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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