Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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