we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize