this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize