Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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