As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
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Whats the count minus fat chicks?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
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Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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