Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize