Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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