its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize