The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
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I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
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Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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