dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize