just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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