Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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