I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize