He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
