dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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