I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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