nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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