Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
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