i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
that is very illegal...i love you.
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