Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
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Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
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Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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