So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
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I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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