Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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