I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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