My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize