can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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