some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize