nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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