On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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