awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
