This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize