So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
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he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
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You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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