Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize