Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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