I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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