Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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