I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize